yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
