this just has baby written all over it
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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