Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
