i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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