i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
