she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just high enough for therapy.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
