So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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