So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I think I sprained my soul last night
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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