It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
