What did we do last night that was yellow?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
