yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So vagazzling was a success
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
