I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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