She is in my trunk
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
