You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
