So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
