Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
