i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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