the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
