Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
