I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Randomize
