I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
