Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
