just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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