well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My penis needs a shock collar
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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