her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my phone needs a breathalizer
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I wear drunk well.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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