I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
