her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
