We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
