make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
