I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
