Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
