So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
