I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Come share oat with me in your robe
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
