butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
