she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
