do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
