i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
