in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
