Buhtt sex?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
This is my gift to your gina
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
