I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
