i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
