it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
