I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
