Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
