dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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