I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
