Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
