she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
