On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
