You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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